Not
a day
passes without someone going to a salon demanding a drastic
style and color change.Hairstylists call
this phenomenon, “Post
Break Up Hair.”Jack may not know it yet,
but Jill is filing
for divorce and washing that man right out of her hair.
The gender truth is
that women like to
cleanse, and why not?If ever there was
a time to renovate body and soul, this is it, and serves the additional
benefit
of irritating Jack beyond all rationale.
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This set
me thinking of what rules should apply to such a change, and just as
quickly I
realized that any rules I would prescribe would defeat the very joy of
throwing
rules and caution to the wind.Drastic
change is after all, drastic, and should not be encumbered by such
things as
reason or purpose.
In the end, hair is just hair, and
grows back, unlike cutting off the nose to spite the face.Color and length are important, but not
nearly as important as the image, the message you want to send.My message would be, “Look at me!I am young, fresh, independent, confident,
and free of you!”If I did it right, it
would
also say, “I look hot, and I am on my way out the door to go trolling
for some
young six-pack yummy to fulfill my every fantasy.Soccer
Mom my foot.Think Soccer Team.”
To send this message I think the hair
needs to be off the shoulder or shorter with great movement and color
that just
explodes into the room.If you are going
red, then go really red, not just a few red strands woven into your old
yesterday hair, but a bold, vibrant red so alarming that burly firemen
feel
uneasy in your presence; or perhaps a deep mysterious black with cool
blue hues
that play in the moonlight; or a thick rich chocolate brown that begs
to be
served with strawberries and champagne; or maybe a striking blonde so
dynamically brilliant that every woman in the room hates you, and grown
men are
reduced to tears because they haven’t met you.
This is of course probably not a job
for your local chop shop and if your town doesn’t have an upscale
salon, all
the better, think road trip.You have
always wanted to go to New York City,
so make an
appointment with Bumble and Bumble in New York,
or with
The Dove’s in California.
That done, we go shopping.Victoria Secrets for a bushel of nylons and
naughties to match the new do, four or five new outfits from Prada, the
sexier
the better, at least six pair of shoes with matching handbags, a free
for all
at the Mac cosmetics counter, and a quick stop at the convenience store
for a
box of Hefty bags, ... so Jack’s stuff won’t get wet on the lawn.
Can’t
afford all of this you say? Did I mention we put this all on Jack’s
credit card
just hours before we file?Keep the
order of events straight, and maybe take your best friend along so you
have
someone to share the moment with.